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[leavening]

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[leavening]

[it needs to be noted that when Hyunsu receives this text he is headed toward the kitchen to find a snack. When he reads the text he immediately walks directly into the wall and drops his phone.

so it takes a minute for him to respond.]

eunyu what

[and then:]

do you want to be?

[sterilize]

i think it's a legit question all things considered

( shut up!!!!! die )

if that's how it's gonna be between us
then yes

[leavening]

ok.

then yes.

[sterilize]

ok




so what does that mean

( eunyu you were the one who asked him )

[leavening]

[um.]

doesn't it mean i do what you tell me to do?

[He doesn't know what he's doing either, eunyu.]

[sterilize]

yeah but

not all the time
i mean you should still get a say
and tell me no if you want to

you should tell me if there's anything you don't want me to do to you i think

[leavening]

ok i can do that.

[however:]

i don't have that much experience. i don't know everything i like or dislike.

[sterilize]

but you do know somethings? i mean it's obvious right
i don't want you to pin me down, you don't want me to bully or humiliate you
you can say that. you should say that. you shouldn't let people get free range over you, not even me
and if anyone ever tries you say "fuck you, eunyu will kill you if i don't first" and jab them in the eye

[leavening]

ok, that's true. i wouldn't like being humiliated.

[He hadn't really thought about that as a sexual thing, but since he already struggles with self-loathing it seems like a bad idea, she's right. Something like that would be more triggering than sexy for him.

honestly this kind of thing is why he's so inclined to trust her.]

in the eye, huh? [he might be laughing at this. standing somewhere near the kitchen reading his phone with a goofy smile on his face.] what about a punch in the face? [that might be more his style than eye jabbing at this point.]

[sterilize]

in the eye! and the fuck you is important
punching has too much room for interpretation. taking an eye says "if you fuck with me, you've got another one i'm coming for"

( with absolutely no prelude — )

if i could find a way to tie you up do you think you'd like that?
what if i stepped on you?

[leavening]

[does it?? Actually, people like Hao exist so she might have a point.]

ok. i'll remember that.

[and now he's blushing. wow.]

yeah, i would let you tie me up.

[a beat and then another reply:]

step on me where?

[sterilize]

your dick i guess

[leavening]

[???]

i think i want that to be functional.

[sterilize]

so do i if you haven't noticed

i wouldn't break it

( she thinks. she didn't actually consider that. )

off the table
i don't really want to hurt you anyway

[leavening]

[well, like, he does heal fast, so there's that. he's never really tested his accelerated healing on his dick though.

but more importantly:]

i know you don't.

[sterilize]

are you hyunsu right now?

[leavening]

yeah. why?

[sterilize]

i don't know
i guess i'm not always sure your monster knows i won't hurt him

you think you both want the same things?
does it matter if you're the same person, in the same body?

[leavening]

i think he knows.

[It's why the monster makes an effort to be nicer to her than he does other people. or one of the reasons, anyway.]

i think so. i liked everything you did in the chapel. it didn't matter which part of me was in control, I felt it all and I liked it.

[sterilize]

( why does that, of all things, make her blush? jeeze. )

hmmmmm
if you remember that, then you know you owe me

[leavening]

[Oh. Right. Now he's blushing too. Or again, actually.]

yeah, i do.

whenever you want me.

[sterilize]

this can be a practice

( "this" meaning sexting, she thinks. maybe. if it's not too awkward. )

if you're a good boy i'll let you eat me out
do you want to?

[leavening]

[u know what maybe he should go somewhere less public for this, he's still hanging out near the kitchen.

probably should have thought of that earlier, actually.

But he still replies promptly, though:]

yeah, i do.

[sterilize]

it’s a reward. you have to earn it
you have to be a good boy
will you?
even if it’s something that’ll be hard

( what will that be? well.

eunyu has no idea. she’s faking it. all of it. )

[leavening]

[look, he's just going with it ok, it's not like he knows what he's doing either.]

yeah.

i want to be good for you.