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[leavening]

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MH5

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[sterilize]

did you get hurt

( who does eunyu have to attack!!!!!! )

[leavening]

no, i was ok. so was eunhyuk.

[sterilize]

ok. good.

did you meet hao in otherworld?

[leavening]

no, we met during the game.

i fought him.

it was stupid.

[sterilize]

does he treat you right? or do i need to take an eye out

[leavening]

[This is a hard question to answer because Hao is.....Hao.]

i guess so.

hao is annoying, but he's not really malicious.

you'll see what i mean if you talk to him.

[sterilize]

should i? talk to him

[leavening]

yeah, if you want to.

[sterilize]

( tch!!! )

you're really not even gonna ask if i'm jealous?

[leavening]

[Oh

oh]

wait what

are you jealous?

[sterilize]

no

[leavening]

[????]

ok



i'm confused.

[sterilize]

you’re saying it didn’t even cross your mind i might be jealous seeing you jerk off some guy
?

[leavening]

[Well this is embarrassing.]

when you mentioned him in the chapel i wondered

but then it didn't seem to matter that much.

[and maybe on some level he just doesn't see himself as someone worth feeling jealousy over. His self-worth issues are a work in progress.]

i guess i figured if you were mad you would have told me.

[she's very good at letting people know when she's mad.]

[sterilize]

( hyunsu is too much like a kicked puppy to actually scold. if he was the monster right now, it’d be much easier )

i don’t get mad over stupid stuff
you should get whatever you want whenever you want it. however you want it
if that’s hao, it’s cool

[leavening]

ok

my relationship with hao isn't like what i have with you, though.

it doesn't feel the same.

[he feels like she should know this. that there's trust with her that he doesn't have with hao.

also hao is annoying and she isn't.]

[sterilize]

i’m glad i get any part of you
or whatever

i just didn’t want you to sweat it if you were worried
but i guess maybe you weren’t

( there is room for 1 overthinker in this relationship )

[leavening]

[well he is now!! a little bit. though he does believe her when she says she's not mad. he just feels like maybe he was thoughtless, so he'll have to try to do better in the future.]

ok.

i feel the same way, you know.

[sterilize]

which part?

[leavening]

all of it.

i want you to be happy.

[sterilize]

( pessimistically, she thinks about eunhyuk. childishly, she decides to refuse happiness until he wants her again.

but, heroically, she decides that isn’t really hyunsu’s problem. it’s hers. she’ll work it out, just like she did with hyunsu. )

i’m getting there

[leavening]

that's good.

[probably??

but he knows eunyu. and he knows eunhyuk.

should he ask this? unsure. is he going to anyway? ....yes.]

how's eunhyuk been treating you?

[sterilize]

( she has to wonder if she's that transparent, or if hyunsu is just that perceptive. )

i don't think he was happy to see me

[leavening]

i don't think he knows how to be happy right now.

[that is, assuming he ever did, which is debatable. But if Hyunsu's monster is rooted in his rage and resentment then Eunhyuk's is rooted in logic and rationality. He's probably going to be extra stupid about feelings for awhile, which Hyunsu does find frustrating, but he doesn't think it's as bad for him as it is for Eunyu.]

[sterilize]

( it doesn't make her happy to hear, but she's not sure anything would make her happy right now. )

i won't give up on him
just like i didn't give up on you

( when she said it to hyunsu, she was emboldened, confident, sure of herself. i won't give up on you, because you never gave up on me.

when she says it about eunhyuk, it's resigned, defeated, pained. why do i always have to suffer before i'm happy? why is happiness always one more step out of reach? )

will you help me?