[Hyunsu isn’t sure, really. After all that lab had more or less collapsed on him and he transformed just fine. Then again he’d already undergone his first full transformation. But he really doesn’t have the patience or inclination to discuss the finer points of monster transformation, especially not with Eunhyuk.
Besides, he get distracted by that last question.]
Hm?
[He has to think for a moment, his gaze going distant as he thinks back to that night. The memories from when his more human side was in control are always a little fuzzy.]
They all got out of Green Home. Yes.
[Past that, it’s harder to say. Hyunsu really only interacted with Yi-Kyeong and Eunyu afterward, and Eunyu he only started interacting with directly very recently.]
[ he finishes the juice box and gets up on his feet; he's dressed about as plainly as he used to back in green home, only the cotton pants are a vastly more premium quality, and the plain tee is incredibly tailored without being too fitted. this whole place reeks of money, and eunhyuk is a little bothered by it.
hyunsu looks good. hair is still a mess, but it's shorter than he last remembers, and the eyes—— it takes some getting used to. ]
If you're staying with someone else you should tell them you've changed your mind.
Why can't it be both? Have you gotten attached to someone? Is it a new girlfriend?
[ they're being way too casual with one another, even considering their mutual history. but what of it? eunhyuk already died, and hyunsu's paid up on good deeds. maybe this is what it looks like for the two of them to talk like normal people. ]
You've moved on, then. I understand. It's been a year, like you said.
[Hyunsu's lips quirk upward at the corner slightly.]
So you're attached to me? Touching.
[It's really just stubbornness and spite that's fueling this. And not even spite toward Eunhyuk, if Hyunsu were to be really honest with himself. It's spite toward himself. Toward the soft, human part of him that has always bent so easily to the will of others. He can't let himself cave too easily.]
A few hours. I haven't gotten the separation anxiety yet.
[ a few hours since he'd lied to eunyu. a few hours since he'd sent them all through the tunnels so he could blow up the building in peace, make sure everything they had to bury would stay buried and give hyunsu a fighting chance. it might've been the only truly brave thing he's ever done. ]
[It's said with as much derision and sarcasm as he can muster, which is honestly quite a lot considering the part of him that’s in control. And yet there might still be some ring of truth to it.]
Except, obviously not really. He’s been thoroughly and repeatedly traumatized or else this side of him wouldn’t be in control. But that’s beside the point.]
It's Eunyu who’s been lost. She’s been searching for you everywhere.
[ i was dead. good as, really, in the end. why would she still keep looking for him? the building crashing down on him while he was in the basement should have been pretty final.
just conveniently forgetting he lied to her in the end, there. it's fine. they've never been good at closure. ]
[Hyunsu as he is now could almost laugh. In fact he does a little bit, a dry huff of hair as his eyebrows go up.]
Do you know Cha Hyunsu at all?
[Because of course he wasn't there to comfort her. He hovered around the edges of her life to protect her while also actively avoiding doing things like actually speaking to her. This Hyunsu finds the whole thing frustrating and pathetic, really.]
I know enough. He would've done what he could, he's too chickenshit to not try.
[ that's what matters, anyway. that hyunsu shows up when he himself can't, because he's made choices that keep hurting eunyu and he doesn't feel all that bad about it so long as she's safe.
hyunsu understood that. eunhyuk has to believe he did, because it's not like he can undo death, much as he wants to. ]
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Besides, he get distracted by that last question.]
Hm?
[He has to think for a moment, his gaze going distant as he thinks back to that night. The memories from when his more human side was in control are always a little fuzzy.]
They all got out of Green Home. Yes.
[Past that, it’s harder to say. Hyunsu really only interacted with Yi-Kyeong and Eunyu afterward, and Eunyu he only started interacting with directly very recently.]
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Good.
[ he finishes the juice box and gets up on his feet; he's dressed about as plainly as he used to back in green home, only the cotton pants are a vastly more premium quality, and the plain tee is incredibly tailored without being too fitted. this whole place reeks of money, and eunhyuk is a little bothered by it.
hyunsu looks good. hair is still a mess, but it's shorter than he last remembers, and the eyes—— it takes some getting used to. ]
If you're staying with someone else you should tell them you've changed your mind.
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He certainly doesn't seem significantly changed on the surface. Same body. Same hair. Same eyes. Same attitude.]
Hoh? Should I? Why? Do you want to keep an eye on me, or do you want me to keep an eye on you?
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[ they're being way too casual with one another, even considering their mutual history. but what of it? eunhyuk already died, and hyunsu's paid up on good deeds. maybe this is what it looks like for the two of them to talk like normal people. ]
You've moved on, then. I understand. It's been a year, like you said.
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So you're attached to me? Touching.
[It's really just stubbornness and spite that's fueling this. And not even spite toward Eunhyuk, if Hyunsu were to be really honest with himself. It's spite toward himself. Toward the soft, human part of him that has always bent so easily to the will of others. He can't let himself cave too easily.]
A year for me. How long has it been for you?
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[ a few hours since he'd lied to eunyu. a few hours since he'd sent them all through the tunnels so he could blow up the building in peace, make sure everything they had to bury would stay buried and give hyunsu a fighting chance. it might've been the only truly brave thing he's ever done. ]
Did you miss me?
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[It's said with as much derision and sarcasm as he can muster, which is honestly quite a lot considering the part of him that’s in control. And yet there might still be some ring of truth to it.]
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[ eunhyuk's answering smirk is equally derisive, but also wholly sincere somehow. ]
You'd be lost without me, after all.
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[He's been fine, thank you.
Except, obviously not really. He’s been thoroughly and repeatedly traumatized or else this side of him wouldn’t be in control. But that’s beside the point.]
It's Eunyu who’s been lost. She’s been searching for you everywhere.
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[ i was dead. good as, really, in the end. why would she still keep looking for him? the building crashing down on him while he was in the basement should have been pretty final.
just conveniently forgetting he lied to her in the end, there. it's fine. they've never been good at closure. ]
You were there to comfort her, I'm sure.
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Do you know Cha Hyunsu at all?
[Because of course he wasn't there to comfort her. He hovered around the edges of her life to protect her while also actively avoiding doing things like actually speaking to her. This Hyunsu finds the whole thing frustrating and pathetic, really.]
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[ that's what matters, anyway. that hyunsu shows up when he himself can't, because he's made choices that keep hurting eunyu and he doesn't feel all that bad about it so long as she's safe.
hyunsu understood that. eunhyuk has to believe he did, because it's not like he can undo death, much as he wants to. ]
Am I wrong?
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And Eunhyuk being right on any level is always a little irritating just on principle.]
He protected her. Is that the same as comfort?
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[ it'd have been enough for him, if he were in hyunsu's place. life is hard. we don't always get what we want. ]
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You're an idiot. You both are.
[Both in this case being Eunhyuk and the human part of Hyunsu, which he currently prefers to see as something separate and more stupid than himself.]
Always hovering around the edges of what you want, but never asking for it.